Red Funnel

1 April 2008

• 0530 hrs, the Master of Red Eagle, Red Funnel's flagship reported that someone had attacked the side of the ship with graffiti. In place of the usual words 'Red Funnel' it read 'Red Squirrel' in big red letters!
• The matter was reported to the police and an investigation was launched in woodland on the Isle of Wight to find the culprit.
• Back on the mainland, word spread amongst the grey squirrels about this provocative action. Grey's are banned from taking day trips or holidays to the Isle of Wight and soon a group of grey squirrels were seen protesting and waving placards at travellers outside Red Funnel's Southampton terminal.
• The message was clear, the dominant greys are angry that the Isle of Wight is the home of red squirrels and great holidays and those with grey hair and a bushy tail are banned.
• The following day, after a chase through Isle of Wight woodland, the police arrested a mischievous red squirrel at Cowes on the Isle of Wight and charged him with the graffiti attack on Red Eagle.